Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Well, welcome. Welcome to the speak your Power now podcast, the show that is dedicated to empowering women through the art of communication. Whether you're looking to enhance your professional presence, build meaningful relationships, or simply embrace your own voice, you're in the right place. We are here to provide you with the resource, sources and community you need to thrive. Subscribe now and join us on the speak your Power now podcast. Empowerment begins with your right.
[00:00:36] Speaker B: All right, welcome back to another speak your power now podcast. I'm Cheryl Clark, your host. And you know what I always say, I'm just a girl from the Bronx. I learned a couple of tools along the way. I'm here to share them with you here at the speak your power now podcast. We're here we find out the art of communication and the domains of how we are speaking out power now in those domains in our life and certain times in our life. I have learned along the way, as a therapist, as a psychotherapist, that there's some things that prohibited me of speaking with my own power inside of me, learning the tools of how to begin to be in the position of how do I speak with power without disempowering other people. So today's episode is very much so. I'm very proud of this episode because what it does is going to get to the barriers of our communication, and sometimes those barriers we don't even know exist. So to dive into the heart of what communication is or you want to be in leadership or just personal growth, I'm here to just tell you that you can begin to move the barriers and you could begin to have effective communication with people. Whether it's personal or whether it's professional, it doesn't matter where you are, you can begin to unlock that potential communicator. That effective potential communicator. So I just want to say, for years I've struggled with the barriers of communication. And hence it all started with your upbringing. My upbringing was I was in a yelling household. Everything was loud and yelling and screaming. So I got a lot of my point across by doing such.
What my parents showed me, what my mom showed me, what my grandmother showed me, or whatever. And those are common barriers that we may not know that it is a situation, but the biggest one I have seen in this debarris is I've seen is fear.
And it's the fear of being judged, the fear of being misunderstood, the fear of not being heard at all.
And this fear oftentimes stems from our past experiences, and it can significantly hinder our ability to communicate openly and authentically.
And the powerful thing is fear is a huge role in our lives. It's a huge barrier in our life. And how does one push past, I would say, or push into the fear or move into it? And I think the first thing it starts with is self awareness.
Recognize the source of the fear, recognizing the first step of the fear.
Then when you are practicing the area of understanding those first steps, and now you have to begin to practice the vulnerability, to step into those safe spaces. Right. And the communication skills and learning how to begin to speak, how to begin to move into practicing how to be vulnerable, because practicing vulnerability is easier said than done.
So I do have some practical tips and things of that nature. But there's a Renee Brown.
She is a renowned researcher, and I always like to give you resources to go back to. And what she did was she's known for her work on vulnerability, courage, empathy, leadership. And what I love about her work is that in order for you to begin to speak with power, Renee says that you have to have the insight of vulnerability which leads into the courage of you. Practicing in situations that you may fear may come up and navigating through these barriers and navigating through these things.
I want to share with you some of the things I've even learned from my work along the way, with even my experience in life with my family, my friends and my colleagues and anything, and even the psychology area, I want to show you that building practicing vulnerability is one of the main sources that you can begin to transform your communication.
Now, Brene Brown, she discussed a lot about embracing your vulnerabilities and is crucial to developing any deeper connection with anyone.
And what I found in my work plays. Vulnerability plays a key role in overcoming any communication barrier.
So vulnerability is connected to your heart.
That's what the authentic communication looks like.
And I like what Bernay Brown talks about in her work. She emphasizes that the strength that we found in vulnerability and the messages that we sing send through what we say or what we don't say, it can transform you or it can keep you stuck.
And a lot of times when we go deeper into vulnerability, you got to look at how you can begin to see what is the sign or the sign, the vulnerability signs of weakness or the vulnerability signs that I'm a step into my courage.
So the idea of vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. And that's what a lot of times we see that vulnerability is weakness.
If I be vulnerable and can I step into this?
But that vulnerability, stepping into that vulnerability gives you the steps to move towards being an effective communicator and being able to connect with people.
Because in order for you to thrive in life, you need people.
In order for you to be with people, you have to be able to gel and be able to align or be able to be with people that don't see things the way you see them. And that concept is incredibly valuable when you learn how to begin to break down the communication barriers. And that is in our personal life. So going back to what I opened up with, if I'm going around yelling and screaming to try to get my point across, I'm going to cut a lot of people off because those are my triggers. That's what happens to me. And I'm not being effective.
I'm not being effective when I'm screaming, I'm not being effective communication when I'm yelling.
So what interests me about this whole avenue of how vulnerability impacts your communication?
You have to begin to check how you can source that inside of you. And I like how Bernay really, you can go and look her up on her TED talks. She has lots of books.
The one TED talks that I absolutely love, that I suggest that you go and watch is exploring the importance of vulnerability. And it's the power of vulnerability. And she connects how you overcome and you build the barriers in your communication skills. And I love it. Also another book that she has is daring greatly. And she goes in deeply about how courage and vulnerability can transform the way we live, the way we parent, the way we need.
A lot of times we don't see ourselves as leaders.
If you're at home with the children or. There was time in my life where I was at home with the children and I was building a business, I had an in home daycare and I was impacting a lot of families. And I didn't see my worth until many years later. And I had to learn how to begin to love on myself. Firstly, this is what we started off with, self awareness and be vulnerable with Cheryl. But in my life I had to understand vulnerability was tapping to my courage.
And vulnerability really has an actionable way of understanding. How do I discuss when something doesn't feel right to me? How do I begin to move in a pathway that I can understand myself?
And then I can begin to have personal growth in my communication.
Now, when you look at these, I want you to have an open mind. These may have new terms for you and things of that nature. So I want you to begin to practice it. And you can start with Brene's work and begin to practice her tips that she has for you. And there's one that I like that I want to give you today that I found very helpful for me. I told you I learned a couple of tools along the way, so I'm going to share them with you.
One of the effective exercises that I tell my clients over time, I do constantly is the mirror talk.
And it involves standing in front of the mirror and expressing your thoughts and your feelings.
It's a safe space to practice articulating your ideas. It's a safe space to begin to show your emotions, and then you are empowering yourself. Right? So I love that. Practicing with yourself and finding yourself and then first gaining the confidence to go in and then shift into the real world and then start practicing on people.
People will begin to tell you, what does that look like? Because sometimes we don't know how we look. So the mirror can help you. The mirror can absolutely help you, because what it does, it begins to shift you into understanding. This place is safe. It's just you and I in the mirror. I remember one time I had a lady, she was like, I can't even look in the mirror.
And she says, I don't find the mirror safe. And we had to practice her actually loving what she saw in the mirror first gaining the confidence in yourself and shift the gears in how you view oneself. So a lot of times, our insecurities come out, maybe in the withdrawal, maybe in the yelling or maybe in the scream or whatever you do to protect oneself. And it's important for us to understand how we do these things. And do I do everything right as a parent? No. Do I do everything right as a woman? No. As a. No. It's not about getting it. All right? And she has. Brittany Brown has another thing in there about perfectionism, too. I love her work.
When you do that, when you understand how to support yourself, give yourself what you need, you're no longer looking outside of yourself to get what you need.
And that's big, because I think that when you are a leader in your home or outside the home or whatever you're doing, you tend to sometimes have barriers, and we don't know how to transform those.
So it's crucial in your home, in the organization, and whatever it is, to create the atmosphere of an open communication.
And in your home, that may not be happening right now, or in your organization, that may not be happening right now. So what it looks like is that leaders should encourage feedback, because that's how you foster environments that are safe for people to share.
When you do that, you can begin to learn the opportunities for you to see and value others, and in turn, possibly they can value you.
Because sometimes when we're not understanding the insights of how we can begin to step into a vulnerable space and to listen and begin to have these communication barriers be lowered, you can remember that your voice matters.
However, how you communicate does matter, how you are not being vulnerable with your own self, how you may have a communication barrier because of your journey.
Remember this, life is about a journey, not the destination. So enjoy the trees, enjoy the life. Enjoy the life. Be patient with yourself.
I encourage seeking therapeutic help, services that does not make you weak, that just celebrates you understanding that I may need assistance along the way.
That's why I said to you that when you look at your life, what is the script of your meaningful conversations that you're having?
What is the challenges that you are continuously having that you can begin to take action surrounding?
And what are the things that you can go deeper in that you may just have this practical tools. I gave you one, and I also gave you Bryn Brown's information. As you could begin to see, this is an opportunity.
Because when opportunities come, you find out that communication, the art of communication, I would like to say, is that sometimes you're uncomfortable, sometimes you're in uncomfortable position, but in how do you speak with power?
How do you begin to look deeper inside of you? How do you begin to get comfortable within your skin?
And as you begin to do that, I want you to see how you can take your life right now and begin to declare what this looks like.
So I want to encourage you today, I want you to begin to see that this is not an opportunity for you to be down on yourself, but I want you to take an opportunity to embrace another.
So, I usually start off the podcast with the declaration, but I thought I would end it today with the declaration, I want you to take a nice, long, full, deep breath in through your nostrils, and I want you to make sure you're in a comfortable sitting position.
And I want you to take you down into our speak your power now declaration.
And I want you to begin to listen to the words or repeat silent to yourself after me.
Today I reclaim my power of purpose.
Today I have unshakable faith and confidence in my uniqueness.
Today I declare that I will not live in fear, but with power, love and a sound mind.
Today I declare that I always communicate with words to empower myself and others.
Today I declare to always honor myself by living in the present and living powerfully in each moment.
All right, so I want to thank you so much for joining me on today. I hope that this podcast was inspiring to you. I hope that it was empowering to you and some things that you're going to do. I want you to begin to look inside of yourself and remember that your voice matters. Go ahead, join us. Share it. Sign up, share the podcast and subscribe today. And remember that your voice has power. Until next time, peace and blessings you.
[00:19:09] Speaker A: Well, thank you for tuning in to another empowering episode of speak your Power now podcast. Remember, the power of communication is in your hands. Your journey doesn't end here. Stay connected with us on social media where we are going to continue the conversation. Don't forget to hit us up, subscribe, leave your review and share it with your friends. Together, we're going to build a community of confident communicators. Until next time. Remember, your life is defined by one single moment. Let that moment be today.
